"The suicide yogurt is in the freezer..."

Uh, wut?

I'm going to be house-sitting this next week or so for my mom's boss and her husband. I've heard her talk about them strangely before, and I even helped them move a little less than a year ago, so seeing their stuff and hearing the stories should have been a primer.

But it wasn't.

A few strange quotes...

- "Here's our bathtub in case you want to take a bath. It (the tub) works."

- "Oh, and here's our shower. Just remember that the water comes out of the side instead of on top. Don't worry, though...if you forget, the water will only hit you in the face. It doesn't hurt much."

- "In case you need to vacuum, here's the vacuum. It plugs into the wall."

Is it a standard electrical plug then?

"Oh, no, I mean the hose plugs into the wall. The vacuum is actually battery-powered." (she wasn't kidding...it's really powered by a big ol' rechargable deal)

And my favorite...

- Said to me with a perfectly straight face: "You can eat anything you want...grill up some stuff, eat some pizzas...whatever. Just be careful of the yogurt on the bottom shelf of the freezer. If you eat it, you'll probably die." A slight pause followed, then she shut the freezer door and walked away. I didn't ask for an explanation.

We'll see how this next week or so goes. If things go well, great! I'll get some cash or free furniture out of it. If not...well, I guess I can always eat the yogurt...