The city that never sleeps (so neither did I)(or Hayden)

The flight was pretty uneventful and actually passed seemingly quickly. Nothing noteworthy other than my streak of having to go through the furthest gates from the the baggage claim and/or entrance is intact *thrills not really*. In any case, I make the mile-long trek to retrieve my bag and head outside to meet Greg.

For being a large airport, JFK has a pretty streamlined passenger pickup system. That is, assuming you make it past the bevy of cab drivers that assail you with their cornecopia of foreign accents. I didn't mind that they asked VERY proactively if I needed a cab. It's their job, and more than a few people do require their services. HOWEVER, when driver A asks if I need a taxi and receives a response in the negative, you would figure that drivers B, C, D, ...M - all of which are within earshot or eyesight of my original response - would have figured out that I STILL don't need a cab. But they didn't, and they asked, and I said "No, I'm good, thanks," about 13 times. I love New York! So after I forged my way through the mass of medallions I crossed the street to the passenger pickup area where Greg was waiting and we were off to the big city!

At about 3 miles per hour.

Evidently EVERYONE tries to leave JFK at about 11:30 EST. But we survived. Our first order of business, I tell my driver, is food. I've had a bagel and some fries at this point, thus my powerful need for sustanence. He asks what I'm in the mood for, I say whatever is filling and won't kill me. He takes me to the Neptune Diner in Astoria, voted best diner in Queens for like 17 decades running or some other similar filthy long streak. I might be exagerating that. But anywho, we go in and the first thing I notice is that in this diner is a full service bar. The bar only has room for two people, but it has all the standard drafts and spirits. Unexpected, but nifteh!!! I'm in no mood for alcohol at this point, however, so we take our seats and I begin to peruse the book-like menu. Once again, the first thing you see is the alcohol menu. That's not so unusual. What IS unusual, though, is that it's located right next to the breakfast menu. "Can I get a short stack and an amaretto sour, please?" I continue looking through the menu and, my heavens, they have EVERYTHING, and it ALL looks good!!! I finally decide, of all things, on a Turkey club. This is most unusual for me because NEVER in my life have I had a Turkey club sandwich. I wanted protein, however, along with something relatively healthy. Oh, and a vanilla coke :-) Folks, I'm convinced that this was the best turkey club you could ever have. The turkey wasn't your standard turkey cold cuts, no. They took a normal, whole turkey breast and sliced it like you might at Thanksgiving (assuming you could slice your turkey in perfect 1/8th inch thick slices), then gave me 8 slices of it. The tomato and lettuce were fresh and crisp, and the bacon was cooked perfectly. Not too much mayo...just enough...and the potato salad was freakin' awesome, too!

Official review - I give the Neptune Diner three thumbs up (I'm grabbing Greg's thumb and pointing it in the air as well)

Honestly, I want to go back and try their other stuff because everything just looked so damn good!

From the Neptune we went to see Hayden in the "city," aka Manhattan. Greg took me down Park Avenue to get to the dorm and meet the man-genius. Wouldn't you know it, he was waiting for us on the corner outside! Superb service, even! I thought we were going to crash there for an hour before driving to Columbus but as it happened we just sat in the sauna (aka the non-air-conditioned confines of the dorm) for a few hours and caught up on times, keeping Hayden up as necessary. Hayden was a fantastic sport about this little visit, though, opening up his schedule and his room to us, for which I am greatful. Sincerely, Hayden, thank you for visiting for a while! Next time we *will* kidnap you, though. Osteoperosis will still be there for you when you get back.

As we left Hayden's place Greg was kind enough to indulge me in a bit of sight-seeing, dark as it was, through the town. After the sight-seeing we headed down to Jersey, made one quick stop at his apartment, and we were off. A few observations...

- In case anyone was wondering, I'm still easily amused. I saw a fruitstand on the side of the road and got excited. Getting fresh fruit at a fruit stand or farmer's market isn't all that big of a deal, but I defy you to find a place that sells such wares at 3:00AM in the Phoenix metro area.

- The moon was RIDICULOUSLY bright and full. Not a cloud in the sky, and we actually drove into the harvest moonset. It was like a spotlight from a police chopper was guiding us (not that I've ever been targeted by a police spotlight)

- Broadway and Time Square are so...bright. And big. And bright. Like brighter than Vegas bright. "They say the neon lights are bright on Brooooadwaaaay..." It's true, and I don't think I've been to any place quite like it. I wanna see more!!!

- Central park is massive. Unless you actually go there I'm not sure it's possible to really grasp just how big it is. Literally, miles long. MILES!!!

- It cracks me up that the Lincoln Tunnel is comprised of four "tubes." Tubes? No, that's what you go floating down the river in. Silly city slickers.

- The speed limit in NYC is 30 mph, and there are NO rights on red lights. Weird, but it's vital to your survival as a motorist.

- Trucks and other vehcles were parked in the middle of the streets as Greg and I were driving around. Some were service vehicles, some were delivery vehicles, and some were random cars. In Phoenix, if you park your vehicle in the middle of the road, you're gonna get a ticket or towed. In NYC, however, this seems to be par for the course. After seeing multiple vehicles jutting out into the roadway, I've summed up the rules that seem to govern this practice into one simple observation: there are none, which leads to the next observation...

- In the Phoenix metro area, speed limits and stop signs are frequenly just suggestions. The drivers of NYC tend to treat lane markings as suggestions. When vehciles park in the middle of the runway, NYC drivers have learned/been forced to instinctively just go where there's space. This helps to explain homo sapiens courtlandae's propensity to bitch at San Diego's downtown drivers.

- Folks in New Jersey have to have 'leet parallel parking skills to live there, as many of the parking jobs left paper-thin resevoirs of space between their cars and those adjacent. How they actually parked between some of those vehciles I'll never comprehend unless it involved some type of crane or VTOL (vertical takeoff and landing) capabilities.

- Philadelphia smells like dog food; New Jersey smells like a smorgasboard of dung; New York smells like ocean water or trash depending on where you are.

- I woke up at 8:00 AM AZ time on 8/08. I didn't sleep until 3:30PM on 8/09, and then only for about 2.5 hrs. If NYC doesn't sleep, and Hayden wasn't sleeping, than neither was I. And I didn't.