They're called drivers...hire one.

My best friend was killed by a drunk driver in 7th grade. That has no bearing on this, though.

Drinking and driving makes absolutely no sense to me. That has limited bearing on this, though.

If you're a celebrity (like a Paris Hilton [who I have no idea WHY she's a celebrity] or Lindsay Lohan or Glen Close or Mel Gibson or countless others) and you're going to be drinking and you've made shows or movies or albums or books and you have money...

HIRE A DAMN DRIVER! A taxi, a limo service, a permanent chauffeur...something. Hell, throw your keys away for all I care. You can buy a new car the next day.

Just don't drink and drive. I don't wanna see any more ugly celebrity mugs.

I'm not laughing at blind people...

...but the picture I get in my mind of the Guiding Eyes for the Blind Gold Classic is just hilarious. As taken from their recent press release...

"Guiding Eyes for the Blind is pleased to welcome New York Giant quarterback Eli Manning as the new host of the 30th Annual Guiding Eyes for the Blind Golf Classic...Participants play 18 holes of golf with an opportunity to play a few holes with blind golfers and will also have the opportunity to meet Eli Manning. On Sunday, June 24, sixteen of the top blind golfers from the United States Blind Golf Association in the U.S. and Canada compete against one another at Mount Kisco Country Club for the coveted Corcoran Cup. "

I can't help but picture players walking all over the place, driving their golf carts across the greens and into trees, golf balls flying everywhere, putting on the tee box and driving from the greens...stuff like that. I know that wouldn't actually happen (very much) but that's the initial scene that pops in my head. I know, I know, I'm going to hell.

On a more serious note, I'm all about assisted living and facilitative accomodations for disabled folks to play sports (or at least modified versions of sports). My dad's been in a wheelchair for years so it's kinda hard not to be for that kind of stuff. But blind golf? Is this reeeeely a good idea?

I have to think Eli Manning is wondering the same thing about trying to play professional football...

2k in two years

Thanks for the hits and the readership! The blog's birthday is in two days so here's to another fantastic year!!!

Real blogger roll call!

Alright, folks of the blogosphere out there...I know you're reading but many of you aren't writing. To those who are (heh...I accidentally left out the space and it said whoare), much awesomeness!

To those who havent' updated in months - share and share alike! New material, please! Updates are good. I promise!

To those who don't blog at all...boooo!

(And no, MySpace tags and bulletins and stuff don't count as blogging. Only blogging counts as blogging.)

Ick...I just used entirely too many "og" syllables. And My combined with Space. Yuck.

Finally they got one right (I hope)

Makers of fortunes for fortune cookies have become discouragingly lax in their originality recently; the pinnacle of the makers' failure can be seen in Triple G's relatively recent fortune of "You like Chinese food."

Brilliant.

Today I went to Pei Wei's - a somewhat faster version of P.F. Chang's but still the same food - and ordered their Kung Pao Chicken.

(Editiorial note - I love getting lunch at Pei Wei's because it's like getting two meals in one for about $8.50, and there's nothin' wrong w/white meat and brown rice!)

This week we announce to our department the changes that are coming - an announcement that's been in the works for months now, one that we're VERY excited to put out there. And VERY nervous about the implemenation of.

So combining all that, imagine my pleasant reaction when I read my fortune today...

"You will be successful in your work."

Dang right, baby!

Home?

In the mail today I received a letter from the company I work for addressed to Some Random Girl. Of course I'm not Some Random Girl so I think this both strange and ironic being that it came from my own workplace.

I then arrive at my door to find an envelope from my apartment complex addressed to Some Random Couple. I don't have a roommate (to my knowledge) nor am I married (to my knowledge).

All of this makes me wonder - do I still live here? Did the bodysnatchers arrive and they're just saving me for last? Alternate universes collided and my apartment is now the wormhole or event horizon or whatevertheheck term it is for where alternate universes intersect?

E.T. phone home...

Blue Days

I don't mean sad days. Or days with bright blue skies.

I mean Outlook Blue.

For those that don't use Microsoft Outlook, when you have an appointment on your calendar the default disposition for that time is "busy" (so that people don't try to double-book you...not that it works, but that's the idea), and "busy" time is colored blue.

I've noticed that more and more of my time at work is being coded blue, and today was essentially a Blue Day. Fortunately today was productive meetings vs. theoretical, planning, strategic meetings so stuff actually got done. *thumbs up* But what that means is I'm becoming more and more busy, and my ability to be available for my staff and coworkers is getting drastically reduced - a concern on two fronts. I need to be available to them for questions and escalations if my lead isn't around, and if I'm busy that means I'm not available for my co-workers. My co-workers in many cases are long-time friends and somewhat akin to family, so if my days are mostly blue, then that means my time to be available to my friends and family is reduced.

And that's not cool.

Things most likely will not get any less busy at work so it looks like I'm going to have to find some creative ways to make sure I still have time for them if they want/need it. I've tried to make it a point in my life to make people first and work second and I'm not about to let that die now.

Change

I don't just throw away my change. Yes, it makes it's way to some container after I get home, but I do use it, either for vending machines or to donate to our annual Children's Miracle Network change drive. This is an important understanding when taking into account these two instances...

- I was at Sonic and my total was $4.52. I handed her a $5 bill and took my food, but before I could turn back around to get my change, she was ten feet away walking back towards the building. Didn't ask if it was okay to keep the change. Just took it.

- I went to a taco joint and the bill was $6.46. I gave her $10.51, including two quarters and a penny. I figured three coins for one was a good space-saving decision. About fifteen seconds later she hands me back $4.02. And then she quickly shuts her window. Hmmm...

I tapped on the window.

"Yes?"

"Can I get my other three cents, please?" I reach out my hand to give her back the two pennies.

She doesn't get it. A few more mathematical statements later she hands me a nickle...but doesn't take the pennies from me. Eventually I have to force herto take the pennies saying, "Trust me, your drawer will appreciate it later." After I drove off I wondered if she even knew what I meant, or what it was to "balance" at the end of the night.

These are only two instances of many over the past year, and I ask myself how many transactions are improperly "changed" in this country? And even further, how does $.02 come to equal $.05? Because that's seriously some math I could use.

Best in the NL? Really???

Technically, yes. We mathematically do have the best record in the National League. But are we really the best?

No. Not a chance. Here's a few reasons why (by no means is this an exhaustive list)...

- Doug Davis gives up too damn many walks as it is. Melvin has allowed Davis to pitch himself out of situations this year and he's on a pretty good pitching streak right now. But that's right now. Good teams know what to do with free bases, and you can't afford to give anything away in October.

- B. H. Kim. At least now he's a starter so we have 7 innings to clean up his mess instead of just two, but that's gonna wear on the psyche of some of our players. You wanna be confident in your pitcher, not thinking that you're gonna have to bail him out. Every start matters for us. The more we give to this guy, the worse we'll be down the stretch.

- Overall pitching. You need at least a good 1-2 pitching duo to get out of the first series. We have Webb and...who? Yeah. The way Davis has been pitching he could be a sound #2, but I just don't trust him to keep it up. We probably lose a 5-game series to Penny-Wolf or Peavy-Young, and there ain't no way we win any playoff series against NY's line-up.

- Youth. This *could* work to our advantage since the book against our hitters won't be as thick and maybe they won't no any better to be nervous or scared, but I don't think that's how it goes down for us. Not this year.

At the beginning of the season I said I think we're a year away from the playoffs. I might be wrong, but if they make it I 'spect it will be by default. I still don't see us winning the division title. I hope I'm wrong, mind you, and if they go into the playoffs and go deep I'll cheer like a blithering idiot. I still think we're a year and two pitchers away from being a true contender.

If Elvis wasn't dead yet, he is now

I was debating on whether or not to watch the pre-season game today. On one hand, it's football, but it's it's still pre-season football. Miss-the-first-ten-minutes-and miss-the-game type stuff. I finally turned it on with about ten minutes left in the fourth quarter, just in time to see Indianapolis' struggling back-up offensive unit chuck an interception to the Cowboys.

Neet. What a game. 23-3, Cowboys.

As I'm reaching for the remote I see this commercial come on with a band covering the song "Viva Las Vegas," or so I think. Sounds like it. Words are for it. Right up until the point where it isn't.

"Viva....

"VIVA....

"VIIIIAGRAAAAA!!!"

Ughhh!!!! They totally just gave Vegas a penile enhancement (as if it was necessary). If Elvis really was alive somewhere, this commercial just gave him a heart attack.

Not even five minutes of television and I see two bad products. I knew I should have trusted my gut on this one. Oh well. Bring on the fantasy draft!!!

Welcome, new viewers!

Just wanted to say hi to Hank-Ahn and Wobble! Thanks for droppin' by and leavin' a note or two!

If you haven't done so already, be sure to let me know about any blog or website you might maintain that you want linked.

(Now if only 24 would open up it's website.... *ahem*)

EDIT: Nevermind...looks like they went covert ops on me and launched it, much to the chagrin of the terrorists, Russians, Chinese, and other various rogue elements.

Dorkin' out

A true conversation had between myself and a coworker recently:

Bygood: yeah /sob

Coworker: is that WOW-speak?

Coworker: haha

Bygood: negative

Bygood: ragnarok online-speak

Coworker: hahahaha, i had to sacrifice my RPG addiction when my daughter was born

Bygood: sounds like a reasonable tradeoff to me

Coworker: The call center is my only live action massively multiplayer game now

Bygood: LOL!!!!

Coworker: we have a lot of orcs here

Bygood :so now you have a +7 headset of smiting?

Coworker: lol!

The FGF

This was a pretty good weekend. No beach. No vacation. No frills at all, really. Just a pretty good weekend...in fact, the only thing keeping it from being a great weekend was the fact that my recently replaced brake shoes were defective and wreacked a little havoc on my passenger side drum.

Friday night - Applebees, The Italian Job, and Three Musketeers

Saturday - Car tweakage, Big, car cleanage (for free), Red Lobster, Barnes & Noble, and a massage

Sunday - Church, Kingdom Hearts, dinner at the folks' place

See? Nothing overly exciting. What made it very-nearly-great, though, was the infusuion of girlfriend 2k7. It's been a few years since I've spent an entire weekend with my significant other, and while I wouldn't necessarily want to do it like that every weekend - lets face it, things like poker nights, UFC nights, etc are important - it was definitely a welcomed change of pace from the previous few months.

One of my fellow bloggers refers to his significant other (spouse, in his case) in his blog entries as LWC - aka Lovely Wife Cheryl. My Nemesis refers to her significant other as "the fabulous boyfriend." So, in honor of my significant other along with my friends in the blogosphere, Abby shall genrerally be known as the FGF - the fabulous girlfriend - who helps make weekends great.

Now if I can just get some non-defective brake shoes...

It's like a train wreck...

As if watching PacMan run his career into the ground wasn't enough...



I wonder if they're gonna go after Vick next seeing how they're both kinda sprinting towards the same "Your career is finished" line.

Mmmm...stats!

Precision Counter was suffering from a bad case of Headupis Rectum and was taken offline for a good...idunno, while? Anywho, I was forced to use an alternative hit counter for tracking. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of hit counters that will give the level of tracking detail that Precision Counter does for free so that was kind of a drag.

Anywho, Precision Counter is back, and that makes Shade happy!!! Huzzah for more stats!

Mmmm...stats...

Home to Wendy's, whiskey, and....what???

I was doing some general surfing when I saw on Yahoo's top ten list the Dublin Irish Festival. Having never heard of it before I clicked on the link, which then ultimately led me here...

It didn't take me long to figure out that by Dublin it wasn't refering to Dublin, Ireland, but instead to the great city of Dublin, Ohio, suburb of Columbus, home of the Buckeyes!!! Dublin, of course, is home to a few pretty great thigns in and of themselves, chiefly Wendy's international headquarters (mmm...frostys and chili and burgers and potatos and....).

Besides Wendy's and all of its glory, though, it's also home to the - duh! - Dublin Irish Festival. In case you're wondering, yes, Dublin, OH is named for their homeland capital, and yes, there's lots of folks w/Irish heritage in Ohio. So I'm looking through the Festival's web pages and see they have an Irish whisky drinking seminar (which could most accurately be summarized in three words... "DON'T DRINK IT!!!"), dancing competitions, and...Gaelic Games!!! To the Gaelic Games page I go!

This, my friends, might have been a mistake.

On the page I learn that tug o' war apparently has Irish roots...a fairly benign fact. I keep scrolling down, however, to see that hurling and darts are also events. Hmmm...now wait just a minute. At the same place where Ire-folk and other lads and lassies are gonna be chuggin' the whisky and the pints, we're also going to allow pointed objects and large blunt boulders to be thrown? Or maybe by Hurling they really mean "projectile vomiting" (which would be more appropriate since that's what Irish whiskey makes you do)?

(Seriously...have you ever tried it??? Freakin' foul!!! Anyone that's take a shot of Jameson or some other such concoction and says they enjoyed has some faulty taste buds.)

None of this, however, even compares to the first event they have listed...an event so...uh...I can't even describe it. Because I don't know what it is. It sure does sound weird, though, and the name of it suggests that it does NOT mix well with alcohol...

Click here to view a PDF flyer (yes, a flyer!!!) for the event to see what I mean.

If anyone knows what this illustration is, please let me know. Unless you figure I don't want to know what it is, of course, in which case I'll trust your judgement.

American-flavored Chinese food

I was looking at a take-out menu for a Chinese food place today and on the cover it said...

"Asia Lee - Authentic Chinese Food New York Style"



Uhh....wut? What the heck is that?