The non-typical man

I realize I'm not your average bear in most any sense of the term as applied to modern American society. I was both an athlete and a performing artist. A Marine and connoisseur of role-playing games. I have a stuffed dog on my entertainment center and a collection of shot glasses. I've worn hats ranging between baseball caps to snowboard hats to fedoras and everything in between - to work. I love both show tunes and action movies.

I'm not typical and I know this, so it comes as no surprise when others make mention of it.

What I didn't know, however, is just how non-typical I am. I recently came across this little list of the top 15 men's fears according to Men's Health magazine. Of these 15, 12 seemed serious (look at the list and you'll see what I mean). Of these 12, only 4 or 5 apply to me. One that does apply is my father dying; one that definitely does not apply is fear of hair in the drain.

Then I see another similar article on what girls should get for their guys on Valentines Day. It says that I should have received a big ol' movie poster to hang in my office, a scalp massage, a gift cert to a hardware store, a gift cert to a sports place, and a hot lather machine for shaving. Only 1.5 ideas of that list are things that I'd want at all, and neither are things I'd want for Valentines. It'd be two, but there's not a razor I've found on this planet that can shave through my beard on a daily basis without ripping flesh and whisker out so no lather is necessary...'lectric razor for daily use, please. Oh, and it says I'm also supposed to hate Valentine's Day. I love it. Favorite holiday ever.

Now don't get me wrong - there are some things I'm VERY typical guy about. I'm a big fan of chicks, sex, sports, cars, electronics, things that blow up...stuff like that. I just have no desire for a 18 volt cordless drill. I cook, and cook pretty well. I clean and do laundry and iron. I've sewn a couple of my own pillowcases. I've painted. I've sang both punk and barbershop.

It probably has a lot to do with my folks. In most married households either the father or both the mom and dad work. My father is disabled. He could never teach me stuff like how to change the oil in my car or how to change a tire...I bought a book and learned myself. My aunt taught me how to throw a football as well as everything I needed to know about microbiology, cellular structure, DNA/nucleotides, etc. Mom wasn't around much in the evenings so I had to cook dinner and clean. It just wasn't typical.

And neither am I.