We goin' to the 'ship!!!

Tickets finally came in the mail!

Of course, Blogger doesn't want to upload my pic of the tix right now, but that's cool. They're like 9x5 inches with desert scenes on them. We have the front row of the upper-bowl, 30-yard line. Not too bad!

Mmmm.....

"Cry on the battlefield!
Hail to the Scarlet and Grey!!!
Don't let them through that line;
We've got to win this game today!
RAH!!! FIGHT!!!
Smash through to victory,
We'll cheer thee as we go!
Our honor defend, we will fight till the end
For OhhHiiiOhhh!!!"

Happy Christmas Everyone!

>Insert Picture Of Christmas Tree Here<

:-)

Wishing you and yours the best...

Edit: When I tried posting this the first time, the new Blogger automatically assumed that I wanted Insert to be an HTML tag because it started with Less Than sign with Insert immediately following. How nice of it to edit it to just be the open Insert tag, and add the close Insert tag at the end, and delete everything else. Thanks but no thanks, Blogger. If I want to add HTML, I'll edit it myself.

The holiday not-so-funs

They finally showed up.

Neet.

Congratulations...you get to pay!

My last day in the department at work is a week from Saturday so a few of the folks from my team figured they would throw a bit of a surprise get-together for me at Applebees (sans the surprise...I found out about their plans less than 6 hours after I was originally asked to go somewhere that night). I thought that was pretty cool of them.

So tonight comes and we all meet up, but evidently they *did* keep the surprise from me - I get to pay for my dinner! Surprise!!!

I don't think they did this to spite me, and I didn't want to say anything and end up making someone feel bad. I want to think that everyone thought someone else was paying. Or maybe they just aren't used to picking up the tab for someone like that. Idunno...it was cool that they at least thought of getting together. Just awkward at the end.

Heck, maybe they expected me to buy them dinner...not sure.

Eh.

Random thoughts prior to the return to reality

- I have no desire to go back to work and am delaying it as long as possible. Which just happens to be for another 8.5 hrs. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

- The house has now been fully transformed into Christmas mode. Tomorrow the cleaning will be finished and I'll have all the gifts for my family/friends wrapped and under the tree. Tuesday my Aunt comes in, and at some point after that I'll lose my sanity. I would say that I'll let you know when that happens, but I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out on your own.

(Shut up. No, I haven't lost it yet.)

(Yet.)

- It used to be that hockey was the fighting sport that wasn't boxing or UFC. Now it's basketball. Dr. Naismith has got to be rolling over in his grave over these brawls.

- I hate personal fouls in football. Absolutely hate them. Generally speaking, personal fouls mean you're personally stupid and that's inexcusable (at a professional level). If I ever am a head coach of a football team, personal fouls will carry steep penalties with me.

- Think Pittsburgh got sick of playing mediocre ball? What a domination...

- Tom Brady and Rex Grossman are both playing with chips on their shoulders right now. The difference between the two is that Tom is actually good. I'm tellin' ya right now - Chicago's offense is playing far better than what they should be capable of and it's all gonna come crashing down at the wrong time. Rex really isn't that great, Thomas Jones is NOT good, and for some reason defenses are letting Berrian beat them.

- Why must Cleveland suck, and why must the Ravens (whom I hate) have so many players that I like...

- Christ fooled us all. He returned to earth in the form of LaDanian Tomlinson. If he walked on water before, now he just drives across it. Oh, and scores touchdowns at will...

K, guess that's enough for now.

Stupid rules

- You can't go "offsides" in soccer.

- "Jump Balls" aren't really jump balls in college hoops (this is ludicrous and should be changed immediately).

- Saying that whole "force is with you" thing in Star Wars CCG.

- Assorted TSA rules when traveling.

I'm sure there are others, but these are the ones that come to mind at the moment.

It's comin' down

Our back yard is all grass, save for one palm tree. It was planted in 1987 and the palm fronds still touched the ground it was so small. We watered it a few gallons at a time, twice a week, thinking it would grow up as plants do. This one didn't. Instead, it grew outward. Yup, our palm bush got fat. Eh, whuduya want for free?

Some years later, though, it finally grew upwards. A lot. Now it's about 45 feet tall and rather than it effectively being a tree, it's effectively being a barb-protected flag pole that nobody can use. We had our tree guy come out as he does each year or so to give us the estimate on trimming our evergreens out front and saw the palm standing tall in the back, sorely in need of a shave. Evidently he thought it was in need of A LOT of shaving. Like down to the ground.

The guy told dad that the trunk was no longer sturdy enough to guarantee that a strong wind wouldn't snap the tree - the tree had simply grown too tall and became a lever in the wind. Dad didn't exactly relish the thought of having a permanent palm tree in our house instead of the yard, and even less the thought of having the tree inadvertently relocated into house of one of our neighbors. So down it will come in January.

This, to me, will be a bit of sweet revenge. Back in jr. high and high school my friends and I used to play BYF - back yard football. This wasn't so much like football as you know it, but a cross between football, rugby, and smeer the queer. One team of three or four threw the ball aganst the fence at the other end where the opposing team was. That team then had to pick up the ball and run/pass it towards the other end. Multiple forward passes were permissable. Incomplete passes were deadball turnovers; lost fumbles and int's could be advanced. If you moved the ball to the opposite end and touched the fence while in posession, it was 3 points. If you tackled someone with the ball it was one point. If the ball went over the fence it was -1 point. Now, for the most part, we were shorter/smaller guys. I weighed all of 140 on a good day, and our avg. height was 5 foot 9. We really weren't cut out for h/s football, but you get us in the yard and we were superstars...fearless. I was like Troy Brown meets Devin Hester. And, as good of a combination as that might be, my friend Andy Wright was like Lawrence Taylor plus LaDanian Tomlinson...(yes, that's LT^2). Andy *should* have played football, but his folks wouldn't let him. They were too afraid he'd get hurt while playing in pads but for some reason they thought nothing of him tackling and getting hit without protective gear. Eh. In any case, I was returning the kick one evening and brushed off a pair of defenders to see nothing but the fence in front of me. This really should have been a warning sign since, in the back of my mind, I know we never play with less than three on a team. Right as I was crossing midfield - where the tree stood - Andy popped out from behind the tree and made me pay for my forgetfulness by introducing my back to the ground.

This is one of two times in my life I've been de-cleated, and the only time in my life I've ever fumbled the football. It didn't hurt (not right then, at least...the next morning I felt like death, though), but it definitely stunned me. I just laid there...couldn't hear anything, largely unaware of where I was and what happened. After a couple of minutes I was fine but that hit was the most fierce contact any of us had experienced to that point, and it ended up going down as the most vicious hit in BYF (lucky me, eh?). Had that palm tree not been there, though, I'd have seen Andy and...well, I don't know what I would have done, but I guarantee I wouldn't have just allowed myself to get destroyed like that.

So, palm tree, oh camouflager of destruction, it's time for me to return the favor you once paid me. I'm bringin' the pain in January, baby!

Serving your customers - what a good idea!

(Please read this post with the understanding that I really don't like waiting in lines in retails stores and banks)

(I can be patient, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about lines at all)

(At all)

Banking is a needs-based industry - you need us, so we exist. I, however, like to think of us as a service-based industry. All in all there is incredible product parity in the banking world. That being the case, the only qualities that can really set us apart are convenience and service. We build the convenience into our products, and we're a freakin' huge credit union from a branch/location standpoint. Not as big as others - Golden 1 and Navy Fed, for example - but still pretty damn big. So we're good there. That leaves service, and we focus on that A LOT. We're not a shining example above all, mind you, but we're pretty frackin' good and we invest thousands upon thousands of dollars (and this year, multiple millions) to serve our members as best we know how. Even with failing systems (*shudder*) we can still provide good service.

Apparently other retail chains don't hold to this standard. Lets take...oh, Wal-Mart for example. I go to the self-service checkout line because I hate waiting for a regular checkout line (self-service lines, btw, are one of God's gifts to me...I love them!) and accidently ring one of my items twice. My bad. I have to wait for assistance to have the item voided, though. Can't just be removed. I need a 'leet Wal-Mart employee to enter ye merry keye kode and "void" the item. Now, when you need assistance, a little red light shows up above you, the computer says (repeatedly, ad nauseum or until said 'leet Wal-Mart employee shows up) "Please wait for assistance," and you wait. Emphasis on the wait. The "assistance" I was waiting for, in spite of being less then 15 feet away and having a blip light up on her monitor, was too captivated by cutting out a paper snowflake to notice that I needed "assistance." So I waited for 6 minutes. I could have snapped her out of her focus, sure, but that would have defeated the purpose. Heck, in the time I waited I could have hacked ye merry keye kode myself! Come to think of it, that would have been the epitome of self-service. Eh. The point being, you receive a paycheck to pay attention and assist me, so for cryin' out loud, do it. Please.

I know, some of you are saying that going to Wal-Mart was my first mistake. I would normally agree, but we did have a branch at this one, I needed to make a withdrawal, and some of my folks requested specific gifts from there. I don't like my family very much sometimes.

Okay, the other one that got me was this sale item in a smaller retail store. I went in, picked up the item (heckuva buy), and...*sigh* got in line. Should have gone quickly. One customer at the counter, one in front of me, then me. The problem was that only one clerk was ringing people up, and as it happened, both people in front of me were info-searching rather than purchasing. Now, this is Friday, December 15th. It's a double-payday, it's the holidays, and it's the last payday prior to Christmas. With four people in the store, you'd figure one of them would notice that I've been standing in line for 15 minutes trying to buy one item and open up the 2nd register. Nope. I get to wait. Then, when I do get to the counter the shift manager says, "Oh, sorry about the wait, sir. Sometimes that happens."

Hmmm...so that means you *did* see me there, and you're the one in charge, and you didn't do a thing. But you're sorry at the end, after you have my money, just before I leave. How 'bout this. Try being proactively sorry rather than reactively, because frankly, I don't give two hoots how sorry you are after I've made my purchase. Idiot.

If I go into a store to give them my money, I'd like them to be happy...neigh, eager to take it. As it stands, Wal-mart I already can't stand, and I'll never go into that other store again. Serve your customers, please.

I should've gone to Mexico

Today at 1:30AM my company enabled some enhanced security features on one of their core systems - a real big deal that we've been testing and prepping for months. We knew that the change was going to increase call volume no matter what, but we were doing our best to minimize or squash any possible negative impact. As I was leaving yesterday I told my boss that I'd stay up until the changes went live and then test them live on my own account to see if all went well. If it did, great! If not, I told him I'd just start my vacation one day early so if he didn't see me in the office that meant I was heading south towards the Mexican coast.

1:45 came around and everything tested fine. I went to bed w/no concerns. I woke up and checked my email at work, though, and saw errors. Lots of errors. In just the first hour. NOT an encouraging sight, and for some reason I started to hear mariachi music in the background...

I got to work and things didn't get better. In fact they got worse as the day went on, culminating in the system shutting down unexpectedly. AWESOME! The security enhancements made the system soooo secure that even WE couldn't use it! :-)

The truth of the matter is, strange as it sounds, this is actually the smoothest "upgrade" we've had to our online system since the inception of the current program. Impact truly was minimized (save for that whole "shutting down" thing) and the support staff performed admirably. But just because it went relatively smoothly doesn't make it any easier for myself or, more importantly, my staff to hear complaints all day long. I really SHOULD have gone to Mexico...would have been more fun. So, in honor of where I should have gone, I post the lyrics to a song of one of my favorite bands, The Refreshments - the musings and recollections of the lead singer, Roger Clyne, about one of his many trips to our good neighbor Mexico...

Here comes another song about Mexico
I just can't help myself
I lost my old lady
Got my lures
Got my bobbers
Now I'm gonna go
Got off in the wrong direction
Found a hooker and lost my erection
So I had to lie
In the letter to the boys back home

Now the good guys and the bad guys
Never work past noon around here
They sit side to side in cantinas
Talk to senoritas
And drink warm beer

Holidays

Here's to hoping the holidays are treating you well, and that you found someone or someones to do something holidayish with.

It's official now - I win

We were finally able to announce at work that I received the new position and will be transitioning over as of the new year, and I can honestly say that never has a move been easier and yet more draining. Two weeks deciding whether or not to post, waiting as long as possible to see what my own management chain would offer, if anything. Two weeks waiting for the opportunity to interview. Two weeks in negotiations. Then a week of waiting for undisclosable purposes.

Seven weeks, one new job. I'm glad the waiting is over.

When we made the announcements today one of my immediate reports started crying. I wanted to hug her but that might have been awkward for both of us. She'll be fine. Others were welcoming and looked forward to my arrival.

I just look forward to the opportunity of building my own department and working myself into a promotion. Hopefully I'll be able to bring over some of my better employees along the way.

The Ritz

Here are a few pics of the place. They're not the greatest, and they don't even come close to capturing how incredible the place was. Do your best to ignore the pattern of the interior decoration - it's pretty ugly - and appreciate it for what it is.

Every day when I pulled in to have my car valet parked (for free!), the cars that lined the streets were all foreign - either German, Italian, or English. The place absolutely reeked of success. The Illinois basketball team stayed there during the mini-tournament and their coaches were across the hall from us breaking down game film early in the week. Later on started a M.D.'s conference, as well as a professional printing/publisher's conference. Everyone that walked through the doors of this place was there to either showcase their success or review other's success, and the staff there made you feel like it, too. I wasn't even staying there and they never saw my ID, but somehow they figured out who I was between the time I first walked in their doors and the first time I left. After that, every time I saw their staff..."Oh, hello Mr. Goodrich. Is there anything we can get for you? Let me get that door, Mr. Goodrich. Shall we make lunch reservations for you, Mr. Goodrich?" I'M NOT EVEN A PAID GUEST!!!! That didn't matter to them, though. They made me feel like they were better for having me in their establishment, and not the other way around. There was another gal that did happen to be staying there, and there was a local TV station that wasn't available in her room. There was a particular show she was interested in seeing but couldn't find it; after she called the front desk to inquire, they brought a 30 inch flat screen on a moving platform up to her room with rabbit ears just so she could watch the show, going out of their way to make sure she felt accomodated and served.

Out-freakin'-standing. If I ever get enough money to where I can stay at Ritz's wherever I go, they've got my business.

Besides the aforementioned heavenly cookies that they serve us after lunch, everything else they served us was equally as outstanding. Berry compote. Freshly made bread. Cointreau, melon, berries, and fresh mint. Full coffee and tea service w/good silver and all sorts of flavors and whipped cream and cinnamon sticks and honey and chocolate drops and five types of sweeteners. Orange, grapefruit, cranberry, and mango juices; and guava and peach nectars. Every kind of pastry you can think of, plus fresh apple turnovers. Hot oatmeal w/all the additives on the side. Yogurt parfaits. Full bagel service. Etc, etc, etc.

By the end of the week, I started to get the feeling like if I'd have called to the front desk and requested a harem, they'd have had one sent up for me. No request was too silly, no detail was too insignificant.

It bears mentioning

A direct quote as spoken to me in front of our group today at the training conference....

"Why don't you hold your banana in one hand and your nuts in the other and see what happens?"

O_O

HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

"Don't give up...don't ever give up."

Every year ESPN helps sponsor the Jimmy V Classic, a basketball tournament in which the proceeds help fund cancer research in the name of the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research, and every year they play Jimmy Valvano's speech at the 1993 Espy Awards. It's not quite Brian's Song, but it still nearly makes me cry every time I see it.

Cancer is a killer. Three of my four grandparents had it. Two of them died from it, along with my uncle on my mom's side. Cancer is a bitch. My mom had a hysterectomy for pre-cancerous cells on some girl part down there, and my dad has recurring skin cancer. Given family history and the increased processing of foods, the addition of assorted chemicals into various daily-used household products, etc...I'm likely to get cancer. I can take reasonable steps to prevent it, and goodness knows I am, but sometimes there's just too high of a genetic predisposition to prevent it. My best friend and I used to joke that we'll get it since it seemed like everything people do eventually gives them cancer. But the joke has a high element of truth in it in my case; I accepted this long ago, and am quite fine with it.

I've discussed this with a fair number of you, and those of you that I've talked to about this know that, by no means, is this a morbid statement. In fact, it's nothing more than a scientific near-guarantee...a part of life that I don't directly control. I will very, very likely have cancer before I die, so I look at the efforts and donations of myself and my family as something of an investment in my future. But I'll tell you this much, folks, if I get cancer, I won't take it laying down. To the contrary, I'll put up more of a fight than a championship fighter in the ring defending his belt. I'll not stop until my 12 rounds are finished and it's licked, and maybe we'll go three extra rounds for good measure. But, should it get a sucker punch in on me, before I go down for the final count I'll look that bitch in the eye and punch it right in the mouth.

Should cancer be my fate, I'll never give up...I won't ever give up.

Trevor, I'm sorry, but the Ritz's cookies are better

I know Hilton's are good...and they ARE good...but the cookies that the Ritz-Carlton is providing are bigger, better, and offer more variety. I've tried the white chocolate macadamia nut and the walnut chocolate chip so far. Tomorrow will be peanut butter.

Sweet googa mooga, those things are good....

I don't get it...

I'm in a corporate sales/service training certification class right now with a bunch of CEOs, decision makers, and head trainers. The idea is that after I finish this week-long process I'll be certified to take the material back to my company and teach it to more peeps...COOL! No problem, I can teach! It's at the Ritz-Carlton, too, and for those that have never been to one, they REALLY take care of you well....like OMG well! I'll post more about that later with some pictures.

Anywho, you know that all of these folks have attended all sorts of assorted seminars, meetings, and conventions in the past, and all of them have probably conducted said meetings as well. What do all these things have in common? They ask you/expect you to turn your cellphones to off or some form of silent alert during the presentations. So, knowing that everyone in the room has been in these situations before, HOW THE HECK IS IT THAT PEOPLE STILL HAVE THEIR CELL RINGERS ON???

Yes, that happened. Both days so far, and I fully expect it will happen again tomorrow, and then again on Thursday.

C'mon, folks...there's only 21 others of you in there with me! Can't we all get it right? Just once?

How do you like your Gator soup?

Well-boiled, please.

My prediction...

Ohio State 38
Florida 20

Ooohh...look at all the pretty sparks!

It's generally inadvisable to put a mug with a metal strip around it in the microwave to heat up water (unless of course you're intending to blow up the cup and/or microwave, in which case, by all means, proceed).

*oops*

I didn't know we had any mugs with metal on them. Who does that?!?! I'll tell you who...the Arizona Cardinals. Leave it to them to find a way to blow something up.

Holiday Cheer - An oxymoron?

Generally speaking, I find Holiday Cheer to be a contradiction in terms - an oxymoron of sorts. I don't like the holidays. I don't like putting up Christmas decorations or Christmas lights. I get annoyed by holiday shoppers and disgusted by excessive holiday glee. I get fed up with 80+ degree holiday temperatures. The increasing commercialism surrounding the season doesn't make things any better, either. It's all just icky.

Of the 26 holiday seasons I can recall, 3 of them have been truly enjoyable. Of those three, one was because it snowed (the only Christmas I remember from Ohio), and the other two were because one of the people I was with enjoyed Christmas so much that it was contagious...you couldn't help but love the season. The other 23 holiday seasons in my living member have simply been tolerated.

Now flip the script.

This year I've found myself seeking Christmas movies and Christmas drinks and Christmas lights and Christmas trees. Looking to start holiday traditions. Playing holiday music all day long. One of my loved ones accused me of being severely ill today. I don't know why I'm like this all the sudden this year. Nothing is different to speak of, but for some reason I've got...ick...holiday cheer! *shudders*

Holiday cheer reminds me of morning chipper, and I don't do morning chipper. Heck, I barely even do morning tolerable! The fact that I'm actually exhibiting said cheer is dangerous enough as it is, and the results could end up being cataclysmic.