It cuts like a knife...

A significant portion of what I do at work is "coaching." I review people's performances, highlight the good, take a look at some of the weaknesses, and discuss ideas on how improvements might be made. Not only do I do this at work, but it's something I've done for a large portion of my life. I obviously did such thigns as a teacher. I helped people as an RA and as a youth leader. And when I was a coach on various volleyball teams.

I've spent a lot of my life watching others, telling them what they're doing wrong, and helping them fix it. As long as someone in this line of work does the same for themself, it's not a bad gig.

Enter the disconnect.

I generally monitor myself pretty damn well and am keenly aware of my status in a good many things. Sometimes, though, I'll focus on other things/people so much that I stop monitoring me. This inevitably leads to not goodness, and that's happened recently. Three times in the past three days I've been told by others whom I care about and respect that I should maybe listen to myself and follow one of the tips I give others. The first two times it was conveyed in a rather casual manner, but clearly I didn't get the point because it took a third person to throw some of my own words back in my face before it finally sunk in. Here's a general paraphrase...

"You once said I should do X, and yet you're not even doing it yourself."

It seems to me there's a word to describe that...yup, it's called HYPOCRACY.

*OUCH*

I can't hardly describe how uncomfortable and humbling it is to be faced with the reality that I've been living such hypocracy for a little while, but it's the truth and truth hurts for a reason. It cuts like a knife through all the nonsense and reveals what is. But if my friends and loved ones hadn't spoken this truth to me and I didn't see it on my own, how could I fix what needed to be fixed?

To those that tried to help me see that something was awry, you have my gratitude and sincere thanks for not being afraid to say what needed said. And to the one that didn't hesitate to use my own words to call me on the carpet, thank you the most. You may really have been mad at me, but I know you did it because you care and I appreciate it.