On an island

Every month I have 1on1 sessions with each of my staff. One hour off the phones and away from the office to chat about all sorts of stuff...a little leisure, a little business, a little randomness. These little sessions are vital to the successful management of my team, and are reminiscent of what I loved about teaching - just being with the students, talking with them, teaching them, and learning from them.

One of my employees today at the end of our time started commenting how she and her husband swap supervisor stories over dinner, and that based on how she spoke of me, her husband thought I was a pretty good one. She agreed. I smiled. She came from a team that technically had a supervisor, but there wasn't much supervision. By and large the prisoners were left to fend for themselves so for her to offer me such a compliment doesn't carry a great deal of weight - the standard I was being measured against isn't terribly high. Nonetheless, I was grateful. It's always nice to get sincere praise from an honest critic.

She then went on to comment about how it must feel kinda lonely sometimes since I can be friendly with the staff but can't really be their friend. Now I can certainly be friends with them away from work, individually. Heck, I've been friends with many of my bosses so I know it can be done. But I know what she meant, and she's right. They call it a captain's chair instead of a captain's loveseat for a reason - there's room enough for one. If we go out as a group after work for drinks and such, I'm still management. Friendly, but not friends. And on occasion, it definitely feels like you're on an island.

I remember being part of the crew, one of the rank and files. I loved being part of the closing staff because there was something good about closing up the shop and walking out at the end of the day, machines off, day done, balanced out. One shift started the day out, but we brought it home, cleaning up messes as needed. I liked putting the day to rest with the team. But now, even if I close, it's not like that any more. If I want to go out for drinks after a day well done and shoot the shit, I can't really do that with my staff. It would have to be with other management. I can hang out with my team, sure. But I'm still their manager if I do that, still on an island.

I may never be a rank and file again...I like leading, and I do think it's probably where I belong. There's something to be said, though, for being part of a hard working, highly functioning, tightly knit crew.