Charlie Brown's revenge

If you've read much of the Peanuts strip at all, you know that Chuck's a fan of sports. He plays baseball quite regularly...maybe not very well, but he still plays. But I think his secret passion is football, or at least getting revenge on that bitch-of-a-Lucy character. Lucy asks if Charlie wants to kick the football, Charlie says yes, she holds it, and he runs up to kick it only to have it yanked away at the last second yield terrible results and inevitably landing on his back, or if he really put his leg into it, his head. In fact it's a wonder Charlie Brown didn't end up in a wheelchair from all the falls he took, but I guess bones and organs are remarkably durable in the cartoon world. In any case, seeing that happen over and over as a child really made me angry. I mean REALLY angry!!! All he wanted to do was kick the ball, and that lying sack-o-crap Lucy would continually yank it away. Now, let's not overlook Charlie Brown's part in this...you figure after not more than 4 bad falls he'd have learned to find another holder (man, can you imagine what would happen to a holder in the NFL if he yanked the ball away like that?). He has a certain responsibility to himself to ensure he's not suckered repeatedly. Nonetheless, I still blame Lucy the Liar. If she doesn't yank that ball away...if she lets him kick it even ONCE, who knows how different Charlie's life might have turned out! I swore until weeks after Charles Schultz's death that he had a comic strip already written hidden away in some safe where Charlie finally kicked the ball, only to be printed upon his death. Damn you, Charles! You proved me wrong!

Charlie Brown, if you're out there, I hope you kick that ball some day, and when you do, I hope you drive it so far up Lucy's ass that it pops out her mouth.